At this stage in my career I should really just accept that no printer on this earth will ever be perfect. EVER. Some of the most destructive relationships I've ever had have been with home printers. Each time I find a new one, I expect it to be better than the last. I always assumed I've learned from my mistakes and will not make the same ones again. I continually expect that each new one will last longer, and be more faithful than the previous one. Each one comes from its shiny new packaging, making promises to do great things like connect with me wirelessly from great distances, and to spoil me with mega packs of ink that will work wonders to make my documents outshine any other in the universe. That's right, the whole entire universe. And every single time I get wrapped up in false hopes that THIS one is THE ONE! This is finally the one that will last forever! This is the one that has everything to offer! This is the one that I will be forever faithful towards! ......And then, it happens. The inevitable downward spiral. At first, it just takes a little longer to get a little feedback. Then, the vague messages pop up. The paper gets eaten (Have I not fed you?) The "unable to communicate with printer" message pops up. (we can go to counselling! I promise!) Is it something I did? Was I not fulfilling my word to maintain and service when needed? Was the generic ink a big mistake? I promise, I meant well!
Today as I sat down with high hopes of printing some documents while conjuring up an amazingly inspirational blurb of ideas to post into cyberspace, I have been flooded with memories of all the times it just hasn't worked out. My very first printer was such a gem....Alas! I was part of the digital world! But none the less, it was just a fleeting affair. What started out as what I thought would be eternal bliss was abruptly disrupted by the first (high pitched and annoying) series of BEEPBEEPBEEP!'s.....We all know it. We've all had that moment. And we've all been in denial as to what the true meaning of it was....destiny. This wonderful printer, I had just happily stocked with fresh, brand name, top-of-the-line printer ink that I couldn't even afford, JUST ATE MY BRAND NEW PHOTO PAPER! "These things happen", I tell myself. "It's no big deal", I tell myself. Then, within days, only a few short months into the relationship, I feel the OVERWHELMING urge to rip my printer from the desk, toss it over our lanai, and give it the baseball bat beating it so very richly deserved. ....Let's face it- if it seems there is something wrong with me, then you have never, ever had your own printer that was actually depended upon. Year after year, printer after printer, it really hasn't changed all that much. I'm still just a prisoner of technology. Is there a lemon law for printers? no. Can you get them serviced? Maybe, but that kid at that office store who makes minimum wage and still hasn't been enlightened enough to pluck the foot long nostril hairs from his facial orifice is certainly not my first go-to for advice.
My solution? Breathe. I'm thankful for the human connections that I have which are permanent. Breathe again. Enjoy the fact that I am able. When in extreme frustration, shut off the laptop and printer and go out into my studio and use my original printer- my canvas, my paint, my brush, and my imagination. After all, that's why I do what I do in the first place.
